floozys:

parental figure: “sit like a lady”

me:

image

scaryanal:

will you marry me? lol its for a friend

sorry:

Why is there so much blood in my alcohol system?

i-really-doughnut-like-you:

ruinedchildhood:

Remember the time Squidward thought Sponge Bob was coming out.

I NEVER UNDERSTOOD THIS as a child and oh my god

beautifulgodzilla:

THIS TOOK A FAR DIFFERENT TURN THEN I EXPECTED

beautifulgodzilla:

THIS TOOK A FAR DIFFERENT TURN THEN I EXPECTED

scentedfurniture:

hannibalbalchild:

librariandominatrix:

when old ladies are homophobic but have lesbian haircuts 

image

what the fuck is a lesbian haircut?? image

jkhdkj,hKJDHFKJDSHfk

lordoftheinternet:

i’m glad the shit that lives in the ocean lacks the ability to leave the ocean because most of it is scary as fuck

godmuva:

Why people ask me shit like “how was work?” or “how is school?” like work is work, school is school, I would rather be on a yacht right now while gettin some dick but here I am

spagheteen:

i never run voluntarily so if u ever see me running you should start running too bc something is coming

bobbyhorin:

*sees ur dick outline in ur jeans* free him